What Is Fair?

Not too long ago, I was whining to my mentor about a significant situation that didn’t turn out the way I had intended it to turn out. Frowning, head down, I cried to her, “it’s just not fair.” She grabbed me by the shoulders, shook me and compassionately asked “what’s fair?” I share here what I received in asking this question.

Are you angry at God? Are you upset? Are you sad? Disappointed in your life? Let-down? Frustrated at the supposed order of things? Are you mad because bad things aren’t supposed to happen to good people? Because you deserve better than what you have? If you have ever in your life felt this, please stop and take a moment to read this.

Is it fair that your colleague gets a great raise and you work so hard yet you get peanuts? Is it fair that you’re the sick one and not your neighbor? Is it fair that your marriage is rocky but your sister’s is “perfect”? Is it fair that your best friend has a boyfriend, but you don’t?” It goes on and on, right? …. WHAT IS FAIR?


Forget about fair.


If you want to start asking about what is fair and even argue in your mind about what is and what isn’t fair, you will stay right there in that same spot forever. Questioning what is fair is not skillful. It is in effect a looping record sample. It goes nowhere, just keeps repeating in the same place. Is that where you want to be?

Roman numeral I: Life is not fair. … …. (Frown) … … But, you do get a fair shot at balancing yourself out. Balancing out the scales within your very self, your inner balance. Everyone no matter who they are, what they are doing, where they come from, why they are where they are, has a fair shot at balancing out the scales of our selves and finding inner balance.

For example, to be angry at God because She is not fair will just keep you there. Yet She wants you to get past that part, so that you can get nearer to Her; so that you can merge with Her, enough so that you find Her within yourself.

We all have a choice. Argue about fair, be angry at fair, and stay there or move past that and get to the heart of the matter – your heart of the matter. What is in your heart? Seek to find out what is there. Sit still enough to see, hear, feel, taste, and sniff-out what is there.

When you are on the verge of what is fair and what is in your heart, you are so close to being right there with God. When you discover the jewels and gems that are under the rubble of your heart, you are there, in such close proximity to God that He dwells within you. Freedom waits there. Where Freedom lives there is no such word as fair. It is beyond fair. Freedom is found in discovering our own inner sense of balance.